Someone Who Likes You

WE ALL NEED FRIENDS ON HALLOWEEN!
~ ACCUSTOMED, CEREMONIOUS ~

"A friend is someone who likes you."
~ Joan Walsh Anglund ~
(1926 - 2021)
[Please! Credit where credit is due!]

Favorite Halloween Pictures
~ here & above ~
From This Is Halloween

Even amongst friends,
we are alone inside our heads:
"We assume too readily that we share one world with other people. It is true at the objective level that we inhabit the same physical space as other humans; the sky is, after all, the one visual constant that unites everyone’s perception of being in the world. Yet this outer world offers no access to the inner world of an individual. At a deeper level, each person is the custodian of a completely private, individual world. Sometimes our beliefs, opinions, and thoughts are ultimately ways of consoling [does he mean "deceiving"] ourselves that we are not alone with the burden of a unique, inner world. It suits us to pretend that we all belong to the one world, but we are more alone than we realize.

"This aloneness is not simply the result of our being different from each other; it derives more from the fact that each of us is housed in a different body. The idea of human life being housed in a body is fascinating. For instance, when people come to visit your home, they come bodily. They bring all of their inner worlds, experiences, and memories into your house through the vehicle of their bodies. While they are visiting you, their lives are not elsewhere; they are totally there with you, before you, reaching out toward you. When the visit is over, their bodies stand up, walk out, and carry this hidden world away."

by John O'Donohue
from Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, p 40
See also: Doubt ~ Dolls ~ Miniature
And: Cyber ~ Connections ~ Peanut

Yet, despite the limitations of friendship, it can transcend the boundaries of time and space:
"Friendship transcends disappearance: an enduring friendship goes on after death, the exchange only transmuted by absence, the relationship advancing and maturing in a silent internal conversational way even after one half of the bond has passed on.

"But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend of sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”

by David Whyte
from Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words
See also: Cyber Monday & Small Opening

Next Fortnightly Post
Sunday, November 14th

Between now and then, read
THE QUOTIDIAN KIT
my shorter, almost daily blog posts
www.dailykitticarriker.blogspot.com

Looking for a good book? Try
KITTI'S LIST
my running list of recent reading
www.kittislist.blogsppot.com

Previous Favorites

Trick or Treat! ~ 2020

Love These Silhouettes!

Soul Cakes ~ 2016

From Doris & Denis ~ 2021

More Good Ones:
For the Love of Fall and Halloween

Only Collect a Few (Imprints #3)

SAND & CONCRETE
ACCUSTOMED, CEREMONIOUS

Thanks to my friend Jan Donley
for this gift from the sea.

Excerpts from Gift from the Sea (1955)
by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (1906 – 2001)

“One never knows what chance treasures . . . may turn up, on the smooth white sand of the conscious mind . . . The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach — waiting for a gift from the sea” (16 - 17).

“I shall ask into my shell only those friends with whom I can be completely honest. I find I am shedding hypocrisy in human relationships. What a rest that will be! The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere" (32).

“The one-and-only moments are justified. The return to them, even if temporarily, is valid. The moment over the marmalade and muffins is valid; the moment feeding the child at the breast is valid; the moment racing with him at the beach is valid. Finding shells together, polishing chestnuts, sharing one’s treasures: all these moments of together-aloneness are valid, but not permanent” (73).

“One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can only collect a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. One moon shell is more impressive than three. There is only one moon in the sky” (114).

March 2016 ~ Amelia Island

*******************
I have long been a fan of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, especially Bring Me A Unicorn but not until a recent re-reading of Gift from the Sea, did I fully appreciate how ahead of her time she was on issues such as environmentalism, de-cluttering, mindfulness, and self - care. For all her gentlness, only a person with a built in shit detector could pinpoint the awesome truth that "The most exhausting thing in life . . . is being insincere." We have all felt it; but, on our behalf, Lindbergh declares it.

Likewise, she declares for personal time and space: "remaining whole in the midst of the distractions of life," "practicing the art of solitude," "being inwardly attentive." These contemplative disciplines -- "even day - dreaming" -- she says, are so rare as to be revolutionary (29, 41, 42, 48, 56 - 57). And this was decades before Facebook and social media started gnawing away at our attention spans.

The ever - elusive work - life balance is prominent on Lindbergh's agenda: "The bearing, rearing, feeding and educating of children; the running of a house with its thousand details; human relationships with their myriad pulls. . . this constant tangle of household chores, errands, and fragments of human relationships . . . endless distractions, always at hand -- unnecessary errands, compulsive duties, social niceties . . . to little purpose" (29, 47 - 48). Using the imagery of seashells, Lindbergh offers suggestions for maintaing a creative identity alongside the whorling omnipresence of housekeeping and childcare and making one's way in the world.

As staunchly as Virginia Woolf (51, 54), Lindbergh advocates for a room of one's own. Or, if not a room, at least an hour to oneself:

“It is a difficult lesson to learn today -- to leave one's friends and family and deliberately practice the art of solitude for an hour or a day or a week. . . .

The world today does not understand, in either man or woman, the need to be alone.

How inexplicable it seems. Anything else will be accepted as a better excuse. If one sets aside time for a business appointment, a trip to the hairdresser, a social engagement or a shopping expedition, that time is accepted as inviolable. But if one says: I cannot come because that is my hour to be alone, one is considered rude, egotistical or strange. . . . Actually these are among the most important times in one's life -- when one is alone” (42, 49 - 50).

These gifts of introspection came to Lindbergh at the beach. Yet, never fear, such gifts are also widely available on dry land, even upon mundane concrete . . .
August 2017 ~ North Carolina

June 2020 ~ Indiana

April 2021 ~ Indiana

August 2021 ~ South Carolina

"I couldn't even walk head up . . . for fear
of missing something precious at my feet." (114)

Next Fortnightly Post
Thursday, October 28th

Between now and then, read
THE QUOTIDIAN KIT ~ "Imprints"
my shorter, almost daily blog posts
www.dailykitticarriker.blogspot.com

Looking for a good book? Try
KITTI'S LIST ~ "More Gifts From the Sea"
my running list of recent reading
www.kittislist.blogsppot.com