LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER
~ ACCUSTOMED, CEREMONIOUS ~
My Grandmother in the Stars
It is possible we will not meet again
on earth. To think this fills my throat
with dust. Then there is only the sky
tying the universe together.
Just now the neighbor’s horse must be standing
patiently, hoof on stone, waiting for his day
to open. What you think of him,
and the village’s one heroic cow
is the knowledge I wish to gather.
I bow to your rugged feet,
the moth-eaten scarves that knot your hair.
Where we live in the world
is never one place. Our hearts,
those dogged mirrors, keep flashing us
moons before we are ready for them.
You and I on a roof at sunset,
our two languages adrift,
heart saying, Take this home with you,
never again,
and only memory making us rich.
by Naomi Shihab Nye
in her book Everything Comes Next
 |
Here is the same photo as above,
with the addition of my mother and me
70 years later,
tucked into the frame
to complete the mother - daughter sequence.
|
" . . . One by one, in abundance or in poverty, we find our way,
and whatever is in us of pity and pride.
And speak to you who come after, to whom we are, perhaps,
the merest trace of sorrow, remnant salt
in the tongue's own flesh.
We who wanted only to die with sweetness in our mouths
to console the children with that hope."
by Jane Hirshfield
from her poem "For the Autumn Dead: Election Day, 1984"
in her book The October Palace
 |
Elizabeth (mother) & Anna Mary (daughter) ~ see dates above.
Photo taken perhaps not too long before Anna Mary's death.
How sad that Anna Mary died (at age 61) in 1923
2 years before her mother died (at age 87) in 1925.
This photo is undated, but appears to be a few years later
than the somewhat happier photo above, which was taken in 1919.
|
"It leans on me, this changing season,
breathless as these old photographs
under the lamp. White smiles will
smile forever; the tossed ball is fixed in
space and will not move, nor will
divers, diving, ever touch water. . . . "
by Dorothea Tanning
from her poem "Trapeze"
in her book Coming to That
 |
Elizabeth Birkinbine Miller
~ Born February 28, 1838 ~
Photo taken shortly before her death, in 1925 |
What my Grandmother Rovilla has written on the back --
 |
Rovilla's note says "a short time before she passed away"
(which was March 28, 1925). Perhaps Rovilla included the date
on the corner that has been torn off over the years.
For the above pic of Elizabeth,
I zoomed in & cropped away the torn segment;
but from the back you can see how much is missing. |
My Great - great grandmother Elizabeth, my Great grandmother Anna Mary, my Grandmother Rovilla. Yet more ancestors, but hopefully somewhat less loss this time than in my last few posts, which were all about lost persons and lost information:
Missing, Presumed Dead
Missing Ancestors
Your Mother, Her Grandfather
Of course, even with a solid written record, there is always the poetic loss to deal with, so deep you can taste it. Poets Naomi Shihab Nye and Jane Hirshfield both rely on surprisingly gustatory imagery to evoke the mixed emotions of ancestral connection (emphasis added in poems above). Nye says that thinking of all she may never be able to learn about her grandmother "fills my throat / with dust." Hirshfield wonders if the ancestors have indvertently left behind a sad taste in our mouths, tears where we would have hoped for smiles: "the merest trace of sorrow, remnant salt . . . We who wanted only to die with sweetness in our mouths / to console the children with that hope."
There is also the absence of contact, as described by the poets. Dorothea Tanning says that the old photos are "breathless." Please speak to us! But, no, they are frozen, speechless. As my
Cousin Hal writes about this photograph of Elizabeth: "Amazing! Must have been a cool fall time of year. The trees are absent leaves, and she is dressed for cool weather. Yes, the customary attire back then. But wow, pretty warm looking!" And how about that dog walking along the sidewalk? Turn around! Show us your face! Whose pet are you? Were you an annoyance to Elizabeth, or were you beloved?
Writing of her grandmother, Shihab Nye acknowledges the sad truth: "It is possible we will not meet again / on earth." In fact, it is not just a possibility but a certainty that my grandmother and I will not meet again on earth, though she meant the world to me in the years that our lives overlapped, from my birth in 1957 until her death in 1966. Not forgetting the numerous great grandmothers before her -- our lives never overlapped; they are known to me only through stories from the relatives and whatever written records survive. Rovilla, Anna Mary, Elizabeth -- they have all become grandmothers in the stars.
The Birkinbines were pretty good record-keepers. Still, as in any dense family history, there are gaps. At my grandmother's knee, I learned the long line of Birkinbines:
Christian (born in Germany) begat
Antonius (born in Switzerland), begat Anthony (born in Philadelphia), begat George (born in Maryland), begat Elizabeth (born in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania), begat Anna Mary (Lancaster County), begat Rovilla (Kansas), begat Mary Beth (Kansas), begat Kitti (Kansas). Elizabeth bequeathed to us extensive lists of siblings and cousins, but her records always started with Christian (1713 - 1786), who left Europe on the
Ship Two Brothers, sailing via Rotterdam to Philadelphia, arriving on September 14, 1749 (
#30 on the Passenger List).
Many thanks to my spouse Gerry who has spent hours researching the preceding generations, and pursuing Christian's roots way back into Germany, where he and all of his forebears lived until Christian branched out and immigrated first to Switzerland and then -- ever the pioneer -- to America. Here is the genealogical thread, temporarily streamlined for the sake of efficiency (
more details to follow):
Johannes Buel, 1595 - 1665
begat
Johannes Buel / Birkenbuel, (1620 - 1684; possibly 1690)
begat
Johan Arnold Birkenbuel (1647 - 1732)
begat
Johan Birkenbuel, Jr. (1688 - 1745)
begat
Johan Christian Birkinbine (1713 - 1786)
Coming next time,
more Birkinbine information -- not lost, not missing!
Various segments of disconnected narrative,
gathered up and connected at last!
Next Fortnightly Post
Saturday, September 28th
Between now and then, read
THE QUOTIDIAN KIT
my shorter, almost daily blog posts
www.dailykitticarriker.blogspot.com
Looking for a good book? Try
KITTI'S LIST
my running list of recent reading
www.kittislist.blogsppot.com
